"Many of us have preconceived notions about people’s accents. We find Western European accents—French, British, Castilian Spanish, Italian—relatively appealing, while Asian and Mexican accents are experienced as unintelligible or offensive… if an employee speaks French well and English only moderately well, we aren’t bothered. however, if Filipinos, for example, speak Tagalog to one another at work, the assumptions are that they are purposefully excluding English-speakers, that they are not trying to learn English, and that they don’t care. A mean-spirited quality is attributed to the behavior."

Frances E. Kendall, Understanding White Privilege 

White supremacy doesn’t regard non-white languages as real languages, it regards them as deviant forms of communication reduced to broad ethnic strokes (“Indian”, “Asian”, “African”) that is unacceptable because it is seen as an affront to white/euro hegemony.

(via notafuckingwizard)

(Source: brutereason, via becauseiamawoman)

"

One afternoon in early August, I was waiting at the bus stop near the local library. I’m always cautious when I go to this part of the city as this is where I always face the most extreme sexual harassment. On this day, I was minding my own businesses, listening to some music while waiting for the bus. At some point, a guy very clearly strung out on drugs came up to me, put his arm around me, and started whispering all the dirty things he wanted to do to me in my ear. Now, I’m a very petite girl, so when it comes to situations like this, I have to be very careful about how I act/react because I know I could easily be hurt. So I stood there, while he kept going. There were plenty of people at this bus stop, meaning that there were multiple witnesses to what was going on. The man tried to pull me closer, at which point I jumped out of his grasp and tried to move a little ways away. Of course he followed me, but quickly became distracted by another girl (who he tried to mug). Like I said, I’m sexually harassed often, but I have never felt as threatened and disgusting as I did that day.

This man, who was touching me and telling me what he was going to do to me, saw me only as an object for his entertainment. In his eyes, I was not a human being. He didn’t want a real relationship with me, he wanted to exert his “power” as a man and use me for his own pleasure. And that’s what every man who catcalls, who sexually harasses, is doing.

There are a lot of people that think catcalling and street harassment are harmless, but try putting yourself in my position, or the millions of other women that face this kind of behavior every single day. Street harassment isn’t flattering. It’s not a compliment. In fact, it’s exhausting. It’s both demoralizing and humiliating, and makes women feel completely powerless over their own bodies.

"

We Shouldn’t Have to Worry About Our Mental Health & Safety Every Time We Go Outside

(via feminspire)

"I think there is a real fear of being labeled anti-sex. The way pornographers and their allies have sold this is that you’re either pro-pornography or you’re anti-sex. Which of course is ludicrous because pornography is not the same as sex. Pornography is an industrial product. It commodifies human needs and sells it back to people, often in an unrecognizable form. It is not simply a reflection of reality. It is a specific representation of it and it is a specific way of representing sex.
Now to assume that if you are against pornography you’re against sex, is to assume that anyone who criticizes McDonald’s is anti-eating. People who criticize McDonald’s are against the destruction of the environment, against the assault on healthy foods, and against child obesity. They are against an industrial product. They are not against eating. So why can’t they see that it is the same thing when it comes to pornography and sex?"

— Gail Dines, How “Pornland” destroys intimacy and hijacks sexuality (via fucknopornblogs)

(Source: yoursocialconstructsareshowing, via sorayachemaly)

janeeyretaughtmeromance:

My Top 10 Female Characters on Television - 

    8/10 : Lieutenant Abbie Mills - Sleepy Hollow

    “You have one choice right now: that is to tell me something, anything, that will help me find her, or so help me, I will rain legal brimstone down on you so hard it will make God jealous. ”

(via icenitribe)

"So, I ask to the women who are still not sure about rape culture, patriarchy, or male supremacy, if you see the problem behind a culture in which “no” is punishable, but where failure to say “no” makes any violation of your personhood your own fault. When you sit back for a moment and think to yourself that surely you can say no to men, and that I am blowing things way out of proportion, then at least do this test within your own life: Start saying No more often when No is what you really want to say. Establish firm boundaries with men and do not let up. See if the male you are saying no to immediately stops and respects your boundary, or if his automatic response, reflexive—as though he’s been learning how to do this since he was a boy, as though he sees no other response more logical than this—is to attempt to do what you have just asked him not to do to you. Notice how you feel when telling a man “no” as well. Do you feel butterflies in your stomach? Do you feel guilty (denying him his right of access to you)? Do you feel mean? Do you feel unsure at all as to whether or not you have the right to tell him no? It is very easy to feel that men are not so bad when you are still making sure to give them what they want."

Looking Male Supremacists Dead in Their Dead Eyes (The Boner Busters Takedown)

"IT IS VERY EASY TO FEEL THAT MEN ARE NOT SO BAD WHEN YOU ARE STILL MAKING SURE TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT"

(via froelich)

(via sorayachemaly)

"It is not possible to be truly balanced in one’s views of an abuser and an abused woman. As Dr. Judith Herman explains eloquently in her masterwork Trauma and Recovery, “neutrality” actually serves the interests of the perpetrator much more than those of the victim and so is not neutral. Although an abuser prefers to have you wholeheartedly on his side, he will settle contentedly for your decision to take a middle stance. To him, that means you see the couple’s problems as partly her fault and partly his fault, which means it isn’t abuse."

"Why Does He Do That: Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft

(via lesbian-lily)

I have never seen the Neutrality Fallacy explained so succinctly before.

(via appropriately-inappropriate)

"We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." - Elie Wiesel

(via radicalfeministuprising)

(Source: fauxcyborg, via sorayachemaly)

"

Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex[…]Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. “Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.”

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men — friends, coworkers, strangers — giddy over these awful pretender women, andI’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watching too many movies written by socially awkward men who like to believe this woman exists and might kiss them.

"

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn (via missespeon)

(via asgardian-feminist)

"I think people’s attitudes need to change at a deep psychological level about how they view these different personality styles. For introverts particularly, to get rid of the guilt and the shame that they feel about who they are, but also for how the world looks at them.

As far as the world is concerned, I’ll give you three concrete places where it needs to change. Number one is in the establishment of psychology itself. What I do in my research, I was actually amazed at how biased psychology is against introversion. I expected it not to be that way because so many psychologists are introverts themselves. But I think it’s just the nature of the field that it mirrors whatever the biases are at the current time. So it used to be biased against homosexuality, biased against introversion and other stuff too. Right now, for example, they’re in a process of revising the diagnostics manual. And the last I heard is they’re considering an entry for something called introverted personality disorder. And that, to me, is just appalling."

It’s OK to Eat Alone: Q&A with Susan Cain (the author of Quiet)

(Source: psychotherapy)

phemiec:

litahalford:

it infuriates me when people tell me “lifes too short to not forgive people!” like NO lifes too short for me to continually allow abusive and manipulative behavior in my life and live in a constant state of anxiety bc I want to be “nice” or whatever

#do no harm but take no shit

(via becauseforoncethisisme)

chibi-masshuu:

roahnari:

trasiga-ogon:

aheartlightasair:

i wasnt going to reblog but then

The ass tho

That’s.. actually incredible. Not the ass, I mean that’s good yes but, fuck yeah Hawkeye Initiative!

I’m just impressed someone can contort themselves into the stupid poses they put women in on the covers of comic books.

chibi-masshuu:

roahnari:

trasiga-ogon:

aheartlightasair:

i wasnt going to reblog but then

The ass tho

That’s.. actually incredible. Not the ass, I mean that’s good yes but, fuck yeah Hawkeye Initiative!

I’m just impressed someone can contort themselves into the stupid poses they put women in on the covers of comic books.

(Source: libraryghost, via smitethepatriarchy)

"see, the thing about threading
and waxing
and 100 squat challenges, is -
we are taught to suffer for good things,
to work ourselves thin,
discomfort is temporary and the rewards worth it;
we are taught to defy our instincts,
we are taught not to flinch
when something burns our skin;
to stay perfectly still,
until we are perfectly pretty;
pain is how you know you’re alive;
sore is the new sexy."

m.v., why doesn’t she just leave him.  (via findingwordsforthoughts)

(via thewinninglight)

"You don’t owe your family affection if they are being abusive and treating you poorly. I know that it’s so difficult not to feel guilty for holding back that love. I know that there are people who will tell you that you should just grin and bear it because they’re family. People who will shame you for the way you feel. People who will try to convince you that wanting to take care of yourself in this way is selfish and unjustified. But the truth is that it’s not your responsibility to be kind or loving to people who have consistently hurt and mistreated you — especially when these people continue to disregard your feelings, ignore your boundaries, and refuse to take responsibility for their behavior. Just because the person hurting you is family doesn’t make them an exception.

Choosing not to be affectionate with family who have abused or mistreated you doesn’t make you a bad person. It isn’t selfish or disrespectful. It’s a form of self-care. It’s about you honoring your feelings and holding people accountable for their abuse. It’s about you standing up for yourself and your needs. It’s about you making your mental health a priority. So if getting distance from certain family members is what you need right now, or permanently, then you have every right to withhold your love and leave. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for the sake of maintaining a relationship. And you don’t ever have to apologize for creating a safer space for yourself."

— Daniell Koepke (via internal-acceptance-movement)

(via diaryofanarabfeminist)

"I know that I’m an adult, but I need a higher level adult."

— words that just left my lips and describe my current life. (via enjolrastopheles)

(via isallornothingthebestwecando)

vvni:

Men and Women, stages of fear

(via sociophilia)

"…the older I get, the more I see how women are described as having gone mad, when what they’ve actually become is knowledgeable and powerful and fucking furious."

Sophie Heawood  (via brosetta-stone)

(Source: featherfall, via becauseiamawoman)